Sullivant's Hill vs. 



1880: 30-feet under Sullivant's Hill, behind Columbus's horrifying lunatic asylum (the world’s largest building by SF), a brilliant new product (lightbulbs) suddenly made this underground Civil War weapons factory far too useful to ignore.

Because this 1100-foot concrete facility sat under the center of America’s railroad network (mathematically), President Hayes chose it to headquarter ORPHAN, the US Secret Service’s first actually “secret” division.


Why? From this secluded Hilltop, ORPHAN agents and their top-secret cargos could reach most of the country faster than from any other location.


 Full Novel (draft) Download below this overview:

FREE - if you post your review by 9/30/21  (before it goes to print)

March 7, 1885,  1:32 AM

Click this image to open the first few chapters in novel form. Read this page for the full novel, Free, for your review.  

Ohio’s former governor and ex-president Rutherford B. Hayes, now ORPHAN’s commander, put his undercover agency under its first 'CLASS-A EMERGENCY!'

​Several hours earlier, Thomas Edison, the most famous man in the Western World, held the international debut of his two newest products at Columbus’s Metropolitan Opera House.

(It sat at 127 North High St. It burned down in 1892).

His audience included two former presidents, several dozen of the nation’s greatest inventors, about 1200 fans, and 600 reporters. Around four thousand more fans lined that pony-poop-covered street for three blocks south, to the Neil House Hotel.


His first product reveal, “The Light Cannon” (1st spotlight), went wonderfully.  It debuted during this musical featuring ‘The Buckeye Beauties,’ six beautiful local song and dance girls.

Edison’s next reveal, his Electro-Wonder-Stagecoach, sent drool dribbling down the chins of 19th-century nurds.



This was the world's first stagecoach with a dome light.


The first twenty were lined up behind the music hall’s stage door. They would be revealed in a parade after the show, transporting the (illuminated) VIPs to the after-party at the Neil House.

The sexy (for 1885) musical “Ladies Come First,” written by Sara Kilbourne, the Buckeye Beauties’ leader, naturally placed these six gorgeous girls in the lead coach.  


As these lovely ladies waited in their rolling wonder for the VIPs to board the others, theirs suddenly took off like a bat out of hell.

Two minutes later, it vanished into Columbus’s Union Train Station complex.

From inside ORPH Six, a low-slung, weapon-packed locomotive (secretly earth’s fastest vehicle), ORPHAN agents Lemont Freeman, Colin Mclaughlin (Sara’s manfriend), and Nicola Tesla track the girls to New Orleans.

Unintentionally, like an action-packed version of “Q” from James Bond movies, Tesla created these rail-rockets, as well as whatever gadget Mclaughlin and Freeman need on the fly.  

Painted white with red crosses, ORPHS (Orphan Ambulances) just hid in plain sight. They were (supposedly) racing along the nation’s rails, rushing emergency medical aid to the 1.7 million orphan children Europe was dumping into America’s open arms.


They find the girls happily under the (herbily enhanced) spell of the world’s wealthiest narcissist, the crazy handsome Tyberious Maximus Cross. While trying to rescue them, Agents Freeman, Mclaughlin, and Tesla stumble over the country’s greatest threat since the war.

In 1859, after inheriting the planet’s largest shipping company, Cross became the Confederacy’s primary financier.  Now in 1885, his most profitable international venture is still trading slaves.

After nabbing a folder from Cross’s floating office aboard his 300’ foot Maximus V (the swiftest and most beautiful ship on earth), the agents discover his dastardly plan. His version of the Confederacy is about to win the Civil War, twenty years late, to restore slavery nationwide. 

His massive scale attack is ready to launch, using the planet’s first wireless (remotely controlled) weapons of mass destruction.

​Three years earlier, Cross's ‘White Knights” stole 17 notebooks from the newly arrived Nicola Tesla. His engineers rapidly weaponized over a dozen of Tesla’s designs. At his hidden compounds in Cuba (and his 36 Caribbean Islands), slaves had just finished building his enormous remotely controlled arsenal. ​Cross had to be stopped immediately.

Tesla and a navel engineer stuff one of ORPH 6’s secret electric drive units into a 20' foot steamboat so the team can race through the Gulf of Mexico, trying to save the nation.

​Do you like wild spy gadgets, weapon-packed speed machines, tyrants bent on domination, monstrous henchmen, sexy ladies, and sarcastic super-spies attacking secret military compounds single-handedly?​

If so, the Southern Cross is for you! FREE, for a limited time. You can even start reading this fast-paced Columbus, Ohio-based action novel in about 5 more seconds. 


The first 12 pages set the stage; then the non-stop super-spy action takes over. We recommend this novel for people with Attention Deficit Disorder (like its author). 


Currently, the Southern Cross is being divided into 8-12 cliff-hanging episodes. Each will be storyboarded in the form of a comic book, with animated video versions for YouTube. Printed copies will be available at some West Columbus businesses.


CGI Movies and TV show episodes (produced in West Columbus) are Upper Columbus’s ultimate goal for "ORPHAN" and “Postal” escapades. Postal is ORPHAN’s 1927 switch from rail-rolling around the nation to flying trick aircraft marked “US Air-Mail.” 


The author created the brilliant herculean agent Lemont Freeman’s character (Aunt Jemima’s son) for Lebron James to play after he retires. 


However, James has not yet been notified of his future.​

​After reading this first 170-page download, if you pledge to email us your review of the complete novel by September 30, 2021, we will return a full (pdf.doc) copy to you. Just email us at  (from this link), to automatically request it. 

These ORPHAN and Postal Agent stories are all works of fiction.  Or are they?  

Check out this crude video to see for yourself: